Stop asking me “When”

Please stop asking me “when”.  I don’t know when I will be done building this boat. I don’t know when we will be launching. I don’t know when I will live on a boat again.

I know I am proud of every step forward in the realization of this project. I know that today I either had a good, or a bad day. I know I have a dream and that working towards this dream is how I live my life.

Stop asking me “when” and ask me how my day was, today. Ask me to show you my work from this week. Ask me questions about the choices and decisions Mark and I tossed around endlessly day after day. Give me a chance to tell you about my journey and stop asking me when I plan to start that one that hasn’t begun yet.

Every time you ask me “when”, you are making it that much more difficult to appreciate that pleasure of living for the moment. Every time I attempt to answer your question I feel this huge pressure to hold true to my word, you are making me give you an answer that you can hold against me… that I can hold against myself… you are forcing me to add some pressure that I don’t need.

Tell me; what if I never finished this project? Would it be that bad if each day had still been a full and accomplished day? …ok, yes, it would suck… But not as much as if I had gone through this journey forgetting about the present , fixated on that one day you kept asking me about but never came.

I know you mean to be caring about my dream, but don’t make me feel that it is most of the future that I should care; lets care about today. Allow me to already be proud of what I have accomplished up to know so I can keep building… so I keep moving forward lifted by the pride of accomplishment rather then weighted down by the burden of timelines and pledges I am unsure to meet.

I am not saying I don’t want to talk about the dream, I am not saying I don’t think about tomorrow. I want to tell you about all the wonderful adventures I am dreaming of. I want to invite you in my dreams with the hope you will join some of our travels.

All I am asking is that you don’t make dreaming of tomorrow a strain on living today. Don’t make my today meaningless compared to my tomorrow, don’t force me to rush to tomorrow, don’t force me to believe that today is only meant to reach that future time point you keep asking me about.

Every dream is in reach if you can take the journey one day at the time.

Laying not far, I have a friend

2 Comments

  1. Pingback: That Question: How do you build a boat? – Mimi Jane

  2. Thank you for your thoughts. Very meaningful to me right now. I’m in the middle of remodeling a little house mostly by myself. It’s not a years long project, just months long and it’s not my first project like this, but the “when are you going to be done” question has always been very disconcerting/annoying/kinda souring and I didn’t have the words to understand but now I do. Let’s celebrate the accomplishments of today, the continued good health (I’m 65), the hands that hurt but still accomplish the needed tasks and the clear mind that keeps us going.

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